"There is No Panic in the Throne Room"

[My spirit was awaken early this morning. Oh, how my flesh cried out for sleep, but God has put in me an urgency to write a tribute to a very special lady today…Jennifer Rene Beck.]



Yesterday, I left my motel room in Columbus at 5:30 am (I was there attending our State Camp Meeting) to travel to Indianapolis for a 10 am funeral service. I hadn’t seen Bruce, Jennifer, and Lauren for about 15 to 16 years. They were ministry friends of ours from Terre Haute. We were young in the ministry together for about eight years. Annette and I were senior pastors at Terre Haute Church of God. They were youth pastors at First Assembly of God. They left Terre Haute around 1992 due to Bruce’s job relocation with Eli Lilly. They didn’t go far, Indianapolis; but we had just had Gabe and they had little Lauren and with our busy lifestyles we lost touch.

We were told by some mutual friends of Jennifer’s cancer back in January of this present year. Honestly, I was shocked and grieved. I tried several times unsuccessfully to get in touch with them. So Annette and I began to intercede in prayer for Jennifer and her family. We didn’t know what kind of cancer she had, what her prognosis was, or how she was doing. But having been there ourselves with Annette’s cancer diagnosis ten years ago, we knew the most important thing we could do was pray. So we prayed.

Bruce and Jennifer had just got married when we came to Terre Haute in the fall of 1985. We were in our middle twenties and they were too. We both had no children. We met them at a Friday night youth service. Their youth group had grown in a short time to one of the largest in the city. I don’t remember if they invited our small youth group over or we invited ourselves, but I wanted to see for myself why God was blessing the youth ministry at First Assembly…so I went along.

Three things stood out to me that night as I observed Bruce and Jennifer at ministry with about seventy-five kids: their love for the kids, and their group emphasis on worship and discipleship. Their love for the kids in their group was genuine. It didn’t come with a youth pastors’ appointment. As they tell it, the night they got back from their honeymoon after the wedding there was 15 to 20kids waiting for them in their living room. The kids recognized that these were two people who cared for them and kids always respond when they know someone genuinely cares and shows them love.

Secondly, Jennifer played the piano and she along with their worship team led us in a beautiful time of worship that night. Again, I witnessed worship that was real, authentic worship led by someone who knew where they was going. I could tell that even as a young lady she had been there before and no doubt often. That night she led all of us into the throne room of God, into the presence of God…the most holy place. Afterward, Bruce shared God’s word with all of us. It’s been over twenty years ago, but I can still see Bruce carefully explaining and relating the Scriptures to where those kids lived.

Bruce had a degree from Ohio State in Chemical Engineering (I think?). He didn’t claim to be a preacher or probably even a youth pastor, but he knew how to disciple people the way Jesus did it. How did Jesus do it? By “hanging out with those he was discipling” and allowing them to see and hear the words of the Father. That’s what Bruce and Jennifer did. They always had kids in their home. They were always going out to eat after church with bunches of kids. Was it because they were funny and fun to be with? Not really, it was again because they loved and cared for kids and the kids knew it!

Occasionally, Annette and I, Bruce, and Jennifer would make a night of it. Usually, because Terre Haute was so small, we had to leave town to get some privacy. So we would escape to Paris to a favorite French restaurant…Paris, Illinois…about thirty-five minutes away. We had great times together. We usually stayed at the restaurant it seemed for a couple hours. We would talk rapid fire on the way over, while we were there, and on the way back. Then, we usually ended up at their apartment or house staying to around midnight “solving the world’s problems” [you do that in your twenties …at least we did].

In the eight years we were together, we had them over to the church often to speak to the youth, lead worship, and sometimes when we didn’t have a pianist Jennifer would come and help us out. We would go over and minister with them in their youth meetings some and later in their Chi Alpha ministry at Indiana State that Bruce and Jennifer founded.It was like a refreshing drink on a hot day when we were together. Our fellowship with the Becks was always something we made time for and looked forward too.

I was thinking about all those times together as I drove over to the funeral yesterday morning. I got there around 9 am and waited in the parking lot for about fifteen minutes before entering the funeral home in Fishers near Indianapolis. Immediately, upon entering I ran into Jennifer’s dad. Earl is a “giant of a man” in character. He is known by everyone in Terre Haute and surrounding counties. He is 82 years old and still has a thriving General Contractor’s business. Earl headed up the Optimist Club when I was in Terre Haute and was involved in many other civic organizations. Earl was and still is as far as I can tell a “this is the way it is kind of guy.” He has a great knowledge of the truth and he doesn’t deviate from that. Earl often filled the pulpit for me in Terre Haute as well as other pastors I knew. Earl, his daughter and her husband (the Shaws) and I talked for awhile, I then spotted Bruce entering the building.

Bruce hadn’t changed at all. Maybe a little less hair but I have never held that against anyone since I have a lot less than I did in my twenties. We hugged and cried a little. He shared me with a little about the rollercoaster of emotions the past six months had brought. He acted relieved that I was there. I was glad that I was too.

What a beautiful service followed. It didn’t surprise me, but Jennifer had led a ladies bible study and prayer group. She had spent the last 10 to 15 years pouring into these women. All of these ladies of course were there and one lady in particular, Amy, did a beautiful job of sharing how Jennifer’s prayer life and leadership had “changed their lives.” Others spoke too, along with Earl and Bruce.Bruce’s brother-in-law did a masterful job directing and ministering the word of God. I could spend another few pages describing what was a beautiful and fitting tribute to Jennifer but I will only share one more thing here that stood out to me.

As Bruce shared, he carefully took some time and took everyone back to December when Jennifer was diagnosed. He spoke of Jennifer’s response when the doctor informed them both that she had bone cancer and the prognosis looked very difficult. Bruce said that Jennifer calmly looked at him in front of the doctor and said “There is no panic the throne room.” Later as they went through months of testing and then traveled to Chicago in May for special treatment once more the doctors gave them very little hope. Bruce said Jennifer’s response hadn’t changed, “There’s no panic in the throne room.”

Over these last few weeks of suffering and with her body growing frail and weak, she reminded everyone, “There’s no panic in the throne room.” Jennifer Beck wasn’t just saying that. Those were not just words to get her and others through a crisis time…she lived it. Bruce told the crowd in attendance that she would often get up in the middle of the night and go to the piano and play softly and worship. He said that many days he would come home from work where he would find Bibles, commentaries, and concordances laying around in the living room where Jennifer had spent the day studying, praying, and worshiping God. Jennifer lived in His presence, in His throne room, and in all that she had knew, seen, and experienced, panic and fear was not a part of that environment.

Jennifer was simply living out Colossians 3:1-4, “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, [who is] our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.”

Today, Jennifer, right now, somewhere in heaven, is in the throne room doing what she enjoyed on earth, what she loved, and what she lived for. Thank you, Jennifer, for a wonderful example of a true worshiper of the most holy God.